Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salam ala rasulullah (SAW) amma ba'd... Assalamualikum
This is a topic which can be dealt with two perspectives: Parents and Children. These two perspectives are entirely different and I wish to only approach the children's perspectives here In Sha Allah.
Disrespecting parents has become a common trend these days. Not a day goes by, that we dont yell/shout/answer back/disobey our parents not realizing how important they are to us and Allah. Here is an ayah depicting how important it is to respect our parents :
"If they strive you to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness. You shall follow only the path of those who have submitted to Me. Ultimately, you all return to Me, then I will inform you of everything you have done." [Luqman 31:15]
Do you know what is the greatest sin in Islam? Shirk. It is the only sin whose doer will, surely, be in Hell if he/she dies while committing it and not repenting as Allah says: "Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills. "[Nisa 4:48]
But in 31:15, Allah says that even if our parents strive/struggle/force us to commit the biggest sin, we should not obey them and continue worshipping Allah(SWT) Alone BUT we should be kind to them. SubhanAllah
This is the ruling for this case. Now imagine when we yell at them for no real reason.
Here are some steps which can help you out In Sha Allah:
1. Make the intention/commitment within yourself to respect them under any and every circumstance. [Do this for the the sake of pleasing Allah]
2. No matter what they say, maybe to wear a particular dress, go out with them somewhere, help them in some work, OBEY them (except Shirk).
3. Even if they something you dislike, for example, shout and scold you for something you did/did not do, say sorry even if its not your mistake or stay quiet.
4. Dont raise your voices at them
5. Stop answering back for every small thing
6. Show them more love, for example, sit and have a talk with them (ask them how was their day and share with them what you did in the day).
I wanna share a story of Prophet Muhammad(SAW) with you which really touched me when I read it, In Sha Allah, if you reflect upon it, you will see the change.
" Once he(SAW) was travelling from Madinah to Makkah. He (SAW) was with the entire army/caravan. When it reached a certain place, he said "Stop here". The caravan stopped. He(SAW) went to a grave and those who were close with him followed him there. He(SAW) sat there and cried. He(SAW) cried so bad that his body was shaking. The sahabas (may Allah be pleased with them) loved him so much that they could not see him cry to the extent that they started to weep with him too. Umar (RA) then went upto him and hugged him. After some time when he(SAW) was able to contain himself within, they asked him the reason as to why he(SAW) cried so much. Then he(SAW) replied that it was his mother's grave and he missed his mom." He(SAW) was only 6 years old when his mom past away. How much time did he(SAW) spend with her and how much of that does he(SAW) remember? After nearly 50 years later, he(SAW) still missed her.
Just amazing. SubhanAllah. This was the love of Prophet Muhammad(SAW) for his mother who he was with only for 6 years.
Just reflect upon what you do, this Ayah and this Hadith above. I cant say more than this. You will realize it all by yourselves.
If I made any mistakes, it was from Shaytan and my own mistakes. If anything you find is useful, is from Allah as He guides whom He wills.
JazakAllahu Khairan. BarakAllah Fekkum and Salam...